Menopause - the toll it takes

Its a right bummer when your body shape starts to change and you have no control over it. 

For a woman like me who has always exercised moderately, been able to eat without having to give too much thought to it. Been realistic in my food intake, all things healthy and fresh not frozen, in a tin or out of a packet; to find that despite limiting myself more than I have had to, I am gaining weight. My waist is no longer obvious, the reasonably flat stomach now protrudes, the thighs have dimples and cellulite and my knees are no longer without that bulge of fat that seems to just hang about above the knee cap. And as for upper arms well we won't go there. And that feeling you get when you catch yourself in the mirror particularly the back view and you wonder who is that woman, I don't recognise her.

Well that is me and it is taking a bit to come to terms with the new me. The older me, an alien version of the woman I was until the last couple of years, has robbed me of that woman. And the new me has less energy, less tolerance to alcohol and less desire to drink it, an interest in chocolate that I couldn't give a hoot about before, less tolerance for too much meat - it gives me constipation.

My mind wanders and my memory fails me. Occasionally, I have really wondered if I am getting early onset dementia. Words I want to use just won't come into my mind or out of my mouth. I am stiff in the morning and it takes a while to loosen up after I have waddled to the kitchen to make the first cup of tea.  My skin is so dry that it flakes like dandruff, I pull off fitted trousers some evenings and the inside of the legs have tiny flakes of skin attached, so I have to moisturise morning and night. And there are a few other problems that are too personal to mention, but they involve thinning skin.

I have taken HRT medications for quite a few years until the doctor and I decided as I am menopausal it is probably time to stop and let nature takes it course. Thank god for the occasional IPL or there would be another out of control problem. And none of these treatments come cheap, you find yourself between a rock and a hard place. I find myself being over critical of everything about me, impossible to satisfy.

They say ageing is a journey, I feel like I'm on a slippery slope going only one way.

In the Outdoors Discovering Rimutaka Incline Walk

In March I decided it was time to get back on the bike and get fit, loose weight, all the usual reasons for trying to be active in many different ways, however, day two into the new regime after work, disaster struck. 

I left home around 7.00pm to go cycling, too late but an appointment for work kept me delayed and I didn't want to miss a lovely evening out on the bike. At 7.30pm I cycled out from under some trees straight into the sun and was blinded, disorientated I cycled straight into a low barrier post. Not going fast the impact still had serious repercussions; my left shoulder impacted with the handlebars on the way through smashing my clavicle and I landed about 2 metres on gravel on my back. Stunned I got up and a lovely bystander came to my rescue and drove me home. To cut a very long and painful story very short, after three weeks I had surgery to plate the bones, about a nine inch cut and immobile in a sling for 6 weeks. Later I discovered I now have two rotator cuff tears, pain in both shoulders, only able to sleep on my back and a long 18 month wait to have the plate removed before any further repairs can be undertaken.

Before all this happened  I had booked a couple of weeks holiday in mid May to Bangkok and Phuket for rest and recovery.  Just out of the sling by two days we flew to Bangkok and arrived two days before the military coup. We took daily massages and really indulged in lying back and being pampered. The only real sightseeing we did was to take a driver and head north to visit the River Kwai. A trip we had not included in previous trips to Thailand and one we were pleased we did this time. How people endured such conditions one cannot imagine or wish to ever see people experience again.

Phuket was just pure indulgence, we stayed at Mangosteen Resort and Spa, with lovely big villas for each couple, children not permitted, cocktails after 3pm and a nice indoor/outdoor restaurant. We ate seafood fresh from the sea, buy it at the market and take 5 steps into a local restaurant to have it cooked and served to your table. Again we had massages daily down at the seafront. As it was low season everything was very negotiable. Like all good things it came to an end when we arrived on May 29th. I had celebrated my 56th birthday during the vacation.

We popped a night in Wellington into the mix to be part of the Freddy Mercury tribute night at the Michael Fowler Centre, three rows from the front it was a great show.

Saturday in late June dawned a beautiful day and hubby suggested we might like to have a day out. I readily agreed as my activities had been pretty limited for four months, just walking a few kilometres after work around the walkways. After a bit of googling we settled on walking the Rimutaka Incline Walk. It was a bit late when we finally set off from home, but we agreed we would walk as far as it was reasonable to enable us to return to the car before it became cold. 

We left the carpark at Cross Creek at 11am and finally got to the summit, after a stop for a cuppa after an hour, at 1.00pm. We did not meet another walker on the way but plenty of mountain bikers cycled uphill past us. We found a table and enjoyed our lunch with another cup of tea. The day was stunning, sunshine, no clouds, no wind which is pretty special if you know that area. There is so much wind normally that there are signs warning you of the cold southerly wind and to be prepared. I walked much of the way in a tee-shirt as I had become too warm with my merino on.

The tunnels along the way are an amazing piece of engineering and there are plenty of information posts telling you of the men killed due to rock falls and explosions. It was clearly a harsh environment in which to make a living but you also read of the camaraderie that endured and the lifelong friendships made. It was from the accounts a social place to live Cross Creek and the remnants of a tennis court can be seen near the Cross Creek Station.

After lunch we decided to walk for another half hour. The path on the Upper Hutt side is wide, level and well cared for, the Rimutaka side is rougher and more challenging. The Hutt side you could push a stroller on but the Rimutaka side is impossible, particularly where the washout occurred, there it is recommended you dismount your bike and only a foolhardy person would not follow the instructions.

We walked for another two kilometres then turned back. The return walk was easy if not a little jarring on the knees as you are all downhill from the Summit. The wind never came up, the sun stayed out and by the time we returned to our car we had walked 18kms and never saw another walker. 

It was so nice to discover a part of the Wairarapa I had not seen before, to read the history and be encouraged to get out and experience the hidden treasures. 

I made a silent commitment to take up tramping again once I have had the knee surgery. Just another little operation I am waiting for.

Over Christmas

Well Christmas is over and it has been a lovely time with family. 

The Twelve Nights of Christmas was blessed with wonderful weather, some evenings were so balmy it was like being in the tropics, uncanny. We did have a couple of cold nights but we still stayed outside in our fabulous new town square, the only night inside was the final night which I sadly missed as I was on my way to Auckland. Feedback has been so positive that I am committed to making this happen annually and with more time to plan expanding on the great start. I was fortunate to be surrounded by amazingly talented people who came on board to make it happen including my passionate staff and district councillors.

This was Day One and the crowds only grew with each event. For me the evening with Wairarapa Word, a night of storytelling, poems and music was a gem. I discovered we are surrounded by the most amazingly talented authors who are quietly going about their lives, many living a sustainable lifestyle and successfully writing for publication. Gared Julian from Moon Over Martinborough participated and listening to his lyrical voice read from his book was a highlight. I plan to attend their Sunday sessions in future.

Xmas was with my adorable son and his partner in the big smoke. I cooked a late lunch all from the Christmas edition of NZ House and Garden and it was as good as any restaurant would serve up. We enjoyed a roasted pear and glazed ham platter, potato and bean salad with herb dressing and caramelised beetroot with cashew nuts and blue cheese. I changed the beetroot recipe slightly to accommodate the ingredients I had and the cheese that Hailey kindly left in her fridge for us. We finished it all off with a lemon tart and an organic vanilla seed custard. Xmas mince pies and marshmallow treats all home made of course. The xmas cake was not cut for a couple of days as we had over indulged. We had enjoyed a breakfast with our sons in-laws earlier in the day and then had a lovely dinner with them the following day.  The weather was very unkind over Christmas/New Year so our plans for Boxing Day races and days at the beach never eventuated.

Enjoyed a lovely overnighter at Taupo on the way up. Sitting on the lake foreshore with a cold wine after a 4 hour drive was divine.

Once home we decided it was time to turn some plans and dreams into a reality. The first was my desire for hens. A hen house was constructed by my hubbie and is awaiting the delivery of four Araucana hens on Sunday. He has taken great pride in adding bespoke features.

I have been gardening in my time off but the wind the last few days has been heart breaking. Nothing is every allowed to be easy is it?

On a personal level I have been struggling with pain from two rotator cuff injuries, one in each shoulder obviously. ACC, the provider of injury care and welfare. Not my experience at all.  I had my first shoulder claim accepted but the necessary surgery claim declined so in December 2012 I appealed their decision. It has been twelve months of hell while they postpone hearings, withhold information, fail to respond to correspondence and meanwhile my injury is deteriorating. Then as you overuse your other arm I heard the left shoulder tear when opening a cabinet that had a sticky door. Well that really became a challenge for ACC,  two claims, they simply couldn't accept their was a second injury. Nearly another twelve months have passed while they request information from the GP who has now sent the same documentation three times. Requesting an ultrasound took months and finally the GP rang them and asked what was the problem, no explanation was forthcoming and no apology for incompetence. Finally I have an appointment to see the surgeon in late January, not holding my breath as it all turned to custard with the right shoulder so only anticipate the same for the left. Meanwhile you are expected to live on pain killers and anti-inflammatories. Too bad if you suffer side effects and fundamentally do not agree with propping up your life with pills. 

I decided this morning after another terrible night of pain and feeling like crap this morning that it is time I lodged a complaint with the Ombudsmans Office.  New years resolution!! Who ever keeps those? But we can share our sentiments.

You know if we are forced by legislation to only use the governments accident  injury insurer then the least they can do is provide the cover. Otherwise, many of us would opt out and pay for a policy that actually did what we had paid for.  We can only hope the pendulum will swing back and the decision makers at ACC will moderate their application of policy to enable claimants to receive adequate and appropriate cover. Very few claims are fraudulent so why should all of us suffer because of so few.